Why I could never be homeless

I know that it seems that I just complain on my blog, but let's face it together - the last few days have sucked beyond all reason.
1. Being homeless sucks and I don't know how people do it. I can't handle the lack of clothes selection, sleeping in places other than my bed (although I have slept on some very nice couches - thank you), showers with no water pressure and living off of fast food (for lack of a fridge), etc.
2. My battery died and there was no one to jump my car until 2 and 1/2 hours later!
3. Then I got in a car accident. The other driver was at fault and it was no where near the tragedy stage of another accident that was suffered by some friends that shall remain nameless.
4. I don't have collision insurance so his insurance better cough up some dinheiro, ta?
5. Politicchic makes me sleep in her brother and sister-in-laws bed - gross (but comfortable, except I think that it may be haunted because I've had some really weird dreams lately)
6. Work seems to suck more when you are homeless, probably why homeless people don't get jobs.
7. You are forced to hang out at your friend's house whether they want you there or not
8. Then while at your friend's house you watch movie about flying daggers! Who knew it was meant to be comedy?
9. Then you have to sit here and blog in the semi darkness because politicchic is a nerd and wanted to go to bed
10. Plus you have to use kittykat5000's lappy because you still haven't found the cord to your own lappy
11. You miss all of the people that have moved away because you realized what a loser you are when your circle of friends gets cut in half because of summer vacations.
Just a few thoughts on the continuing saga of "The Move from H E Double Hockey Sticks".

The Move From 'H' 'E' Double Hockey Sticks

Well kiddies, I am sure that by now you have all realized the true suckiness of moving, especially the move from Goldstone #101 (since most of you were there). Just wanted to thank all of you for your help in the move from "you know where". I also wanted to give you a taste of the continuing saga in the list format (that is so beloved by bloggers):
1. Had to load up Mel's car so that I could get a load of crap to KittyKat's sister-in-law's house
2. I have my crap spread out over provo - basements, sheds, brother and sister- in-law's houses and basements, Mark's house, my car, the Leath, and the laundry basket I carry around with me everywhere I go (I am such a homeless person), etc.
3. We lost the TV in the move - and by lost I mean it died - split in half to be exact, dropped one too many times.
4. I have my laptop with me, but don't have the cord to plug it into the wall - the battery is dead. (Politicchic and I are blogging on campus - thanks "Jason" for the access to byu's comp systems, nice password)
5. Needless to say I have a new found understanding of homeless people and their situation (I don't understand why they like being homeless, I for one can not stand it!) Don't judge the clothes they wear, maybe they left them in the other basket.
6. Had to get up at 7am to get to school on time and be able to clean up all of my stuff to pack it in the car. (Luckily I just got up from a blessed nap)
7. When I got in the car to leave for school, my car would not start. BUT the radio came on, luckily they were playing my favorite song or I would have lost it.
8. We (politicchic and I) called everyone in the continental US (including CA and VA) to find someone to jump the car (we finally found someone - Leatherby's comes through again) and as expected -
9. The battery was dead - Checker Auto Parts comes through again.
10. I didn't make it to school and I could have made it to my afternoon class, but lets face it after a day like that who wants to sit through anatomy - I sure as heck didn't, so I didn't go.

Luckily, Politicchic has been there to keep me sane and we have watched a lot of "good" movies over the past couple of days. Hallmark and Lifetime continue to get me through those tough times. I feel the loss of our Friends and Freshman (now Sophomores) who have moved away. Having a dirty mind just isn't the same without you, can't wait for the many parties planned for this summer and the kidney shaped pool.

Moving and the Suckiness of it all

Okay, so I know that moving is something that everyone has to at some point in their life, probably many points in their life. I just don't want to have to deal with it again. It seems like I just moved and I know I complain A LOT, but I will have no place to live for a week and a half. That, my dear friends, sucks. I have a butt load of stuff, pretty much everything I own is here in Utah with me. I know that I have places to stay, etc, etc, but I will have no place to hang my hat (so to speak). Not having a place that is mine, where I will feel at ease, lounge around, have a stereo (ah! no music!), but still have to sleep, shower and eat...I hate this. Plus I have to clean the current hole that I live and I think we all know the epic task that will be. I need boxes too, good thing I work at a restaurant...where they have boxes...maybe I can get some for other people if they need them...let me know. Peace out. (We watched Napoleon last night - awesome)

The Candy Shop and Sugar

Well, I was just thinking about all of the things that I love that I should really hate. At first it was hard to think of things, but my list got bigger and bigger ... I'm sure that some of you out there can relate. Things I should hate, but don't - most of the music I listen to (candy shop and sugar)... Eminem... M&Ms...Mad TV... the venture brothers...canadians...country music...my obsession with shoes...fan fiction...dumb movies (especially from the 80's)...Orlando Bloom...psychologically frightening movies (scare the crap out of me, but love the feeling)...infomercials...Dog the Bounty Hunter...t-shirts with sayings on them and the list goes on. There are things that I hate that shouldn't be so horrible like bees and the ugly picture on our wall (you all know the one). But let's face it shall we? Bees are the creepiest things in the whole world. So if I ever scream and run away without looking back, you can be confident that I saw a bee and I won't be coming back anytime soon.

Ugly Personality, Ugly body and Ugly Face = Ugly Soul

"Well, they're not getting any ... marriage... any time soon" and "ugly personality, ugly body and ugly face equals an ugly soul". These are just a few of the gems that PoliticChic came up with last night as we were reminscing about the past and pondering the future. We sat around for hours along with a few friends not of the blogging world and had some good times. Old FHE stories (which included Hector - he'll be back in August - keep your fingers crossed), mission stories, tales from our teenage lives (which for those of you that don't know are very entertaining and scandalous) and much more.
I would just like to put out there that though I have a dirty mind, I have a sensative soul. We saw a movie this weekend that was wretched, there was a ton of violence and normally I can take it but this time was different. My poor wounded soul ... it's like a delicate bird ... a soggy cracker ... a crumbly piece of cake ... a dried out leaf ... need I go on? So for those of you that think that I am all good times and no conscience, let me just say that I'm not, I am more than that! I am a halfway decent person!!!! I do still enjoy my dirty mind though...

Getting Hair Done and Tables

So if you can't tell by the cleverly created title, I will be getting my hair done tomorrow. Now, try to contain your excitement, but seriously it's like one of the best things that will happen to me this week. With that said, wouldn't it suck if my hair looked retarded? I don't really know my real hair color, kind of a light brown? I don't think that I have had my hair it's true color since I was fifteen? Yeah, fifteen. So yeah, good times!
Then best news ever, I will be getting my massage table either Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I can barely contain the excitement that it will be here a month early! So yeah, real massages, here I come! Oh, yeah and I got my federal taxes back! Yes! So you could pretty much say that I am rich now, at least by BYU standards. It's been a good day! Boring blog, I know, but I had to spread the joy of one of the best days ever!

Cadaver Lab and the Fabulous Me

Well, another productive day (that's right, productive day, don't ask what I did, I couldn't tell you, it was that good) has passed and I find myself watching politicchic doing pilates and updating and commenting on Blogs. The good times never seem to end. Today I made the epic journey to Salt Lake to the U for my cadaver lab. I handled it well, been there done that (at Ricks). I had a lot of fun watching the pregnant lady and this other chic in my class get queasy and almost throw up. Ah, joy at the pain of others, today was great!

Then tonight The Rage found herself sitting through an epic moie (shut up "Jason") with PoliticChic6 and KittyKat5000. Did you know that the gold plates were used as a weapon to defend yourself when being attacked? Yeah, neither did I, the things you learn ...when watching movies ...crappy movies ... which we do ... a lot.

We need to have a party, I love parties and it would be fun. What could we have a party for? Something that will require food, folks and fun. Well, kids hope your day was as "productive" as mine!

Massage Therapist! (Not Masseuse) and a Talent Show

Well, just to clear things up - I will be a massage therapist NOT masseuse. What is the difference you ask? Well, let's just say that a masseuse will give you a massage and maybe a good one, but the session will end with a bang! I guess you could say that they perform "favors" (if you know what I mean) for their client. So massage therapist, not masseuse! Thank you! (As I climb down from my soap box)
Onto better topics, the Talent Show was a huge hit! KittyKat 5000 and Politicchic6 were amazing, I laughed, I cried (mostly because I was laughing so hard - as evidenced by the loud cackle in the background sounds of the video) and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I look forward to an encore presentation! The laughter was also enhanced by the appearance of a necrophiliac who is apparently suffering from narcolepsy. Then we went to hang out the apartment and ate "fun dips" ( also a name for one of my favorite people despite what Consuelo may think) and chips. There was some Star Wars action, food, music, guitar, Celine Dion and Garth. Good times as we reminisced and for the record - if you happen to suprise me in a dark alley (or walk way behind my apartment) I will try to destroy you or at least chuck my keys at you and not in the arm but places that count. Just so you know ...