Friday, March 21, 2008

The Master Plan

Hi, your friendly pessimist (biggest pessimist ever according to several sources) here to make you realize that your life doesn't suck! Enjoy!

So I was talking with one of my co-workers about my Master Plan and they thought that it would be a good idea to just put it out there. Since the plan is already in motion and several people already know about it (and being the pushover that I am), I agreed and here it is.
So, my Master Plan is to start a completely new life. Totally from scratch (of course, using money saved in my old useless life) and become an entirely new person.

Phase 1: Search and Destroy
To start out the plan I am trying to alientate all those relationships that I hold near and dear to my heart. Politicchic is fighting it, but my family really stepped up to plate by not calling for a month. So those of you out there that are trying to hold back the sabotage, stop it! You are keeping me from my destiny! You all know who you are... if you don't think that you are one of these people then my job is done.

Phase 2: Location
Anyway... after the destruction of all relationships (because that is what will happen in the end anyway, you know it is true and I will elaborate in a later update) I move. I'm planning on some place obscure, maybe another country. If you haven't caught on yet, my Master Plan gets a little fuzzy at this point. Only because in my new life I will be spontaneous and optimistic, two things at which I am not very good.

Phase 3: Move On
In this phase I get a new job, a new place to live and become the new and improved Rage. Too bad that y'all won't be there to see it cuz it's gonna be awesome!

I'm not going to lie, phase 2 is a lot of fun and sometimes I skip phase 1 (not fun) - looking for a new place to live can kill hours! Well, there are obviously a few minor details to work out. But other than that I think that it's pretty good considering I've only been working on it for a few weeks. If you see any major issues let me know so that I can get the kinks out, I couldn't do this without you.