The Master Plan
Hi, your friendly pessimist (biggest pessimist ever according to several sources) here to make you realize that your life doesn't suck! Enjoy!
So I was talking with one of my co-workers about my Master Plan and they thought that it would be a good idea to just put it out there. Since the plan is already in motion and several people already know about it (and being the pushover that I am), I agreed and here it is.
So, my Master Plan is to start a completely new life. Totally from scratch (of course, using money saved in my old useless life) and become an entirely new person.
Phase 1: Search and Destroy
To start out the plan I am trying to alientate all those relationships that I hold near and dear to my heart. Politicchic is fighting it, but my family really stepped up to plate by not calling for a month. So those of you out there that are trying to hold back the sabotage, stop it! You are keeping me from my destiny! You all know who you are... if you don't think that you are one of these people then my job is done.
Phase 2: Location
Anyway... after the destruction of all relationships (because that is what will happen in the end anyway, you know it is true and I will elaborate in a later update) I move. I'm planning on some place obscure, maybe another country. If you haven't caught on yet, my Master Plan gets a little fuzzy at this point. Only because in my new life I will be spontaneous and optimistic, two things at which I am not very good.
Phase 3: Move On
In this phase I get a new job, a new place to live and become the new and improved Rage. Too bad that y'all won't be there to see it cuz it's gonna be awesome!
I'm not going to lie, phase 2 is a lot of fun and sometimes I skip phase 1 (not fun) - looking for a new place to live can kill hours! Well, there are obviously a few minor details to work out. But other than that I think that it's pretty good considering I've only been working on it for a few weeks. If you see any major issues let me know so that I can get the kinks out, I couldn't do this without you.
So I was talking with one of my co-workers about my Master Plan and they thought that it would be a good idea to just put it out there. Since the plan is already in motion and several people already know about it (and being the pushover that I am), I agreed and here it is.
So, my Master Plan is to start a completely new life. Totally from scratch (of course, using money saved in my old useless life) and become an entirely new person.
Phase 1: Search and Destroy
To start out the plan I am trying to alientate all those relationships that I hold near and dear to my heart. Politicchic is fighting it, but my family really stepped up to plate by not calling for a month. So those of you out there that are trying to hold back the sabotage, stop it! You are keeping me from my destiny! You all know who you are... if you don't think that you are one of these people then my job is done.
Phase 2: Location
Anyway... after the destruction of all relationships (because that is what will happen in the end anyway, you know it is true and I will elaborate in a later update) I move. I'm planning on some place obscure, maybe another country. If you haven't caught on yet, my Master Plan gets a little fuzzy at this point. Only because in my new life I will be spontaneous and optimistic, two things at which I am not very good.
Phase 3: Move On
In this phase I get a new job, a new place to live and become the new and improved Rage. Too bad that y'all won't be there to see it cuz it's gonna be awesome!
I'm not going to lie, phase 2 is a lot of fun and sometimes I skip phase 1 (not fun) - looking for a new place to live can kill hours! Well, there are obviously a few minor details to work out. But other than that I think that it's pretty good considering I've only been working on it for a few weeks. If you see any major issues let me know so that I can get the kinks out, I couldn't do this without you.
posted by The Rage at
3/21/2008 04:12:00 PM
5 Comments:
I think once you begin to come down off the Easter Candy induced high you will notice that Phase One is going to be impossible...why? I am a barnacle and like it or not, your BFF so if you are thinking of moving you might as well start thinking of Iceland which has been on my mind for a while...
You could always just try and enter the witness protection program as part of your master plan, getting the government to pay for your relocation would be a bonus!
Now you just need to witness something totally shocking that people will be after you and only the government can step in. I know of a good place in Alaska that they used to send criminals, that is close to K-can. (Don't worry you won't have to visit me as part of your new MP, but in your shore excursions to the big city of K-can you could always let me know when you go to Wal-Mart).
Good luck with the MP.
Master Plan Problems:
number one: Michele IS a barnacle.
number two: Planning to be spontaneous kind of defeats the purpose, does it not?
number three: You have no money, or at least not enough to escape your current life with no outside influence.
number four: your master plan is silly and full of self pity.
Anywhom, I hope you feel more happy and can come to grips with what appears to be a mid-life crises.
I resent the non-constructive criticism of the master plan. It's not a mid-life crisis, but a quarter-life change of plans.
I can't even comment on this master plan. You're silly, Rachel.
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